The Time We Totally Forgot to Love Our Neighbors

I am responding today to some people that are doing things that I hate. They probably have no idea who they are, or that I am responding to them, but the problem is that I know there are more than just these few people on MY Facebook feed and social media pages, and I know others are being hurt by them, so I just need to say something. I can't be quiet at this point.

So mostly, I'm talking to other Christians. However, if you have been hurt by a Christian and you've somehow ended up here, please keep reading if you'd like to.

I believe my role as a Christian, more than anything, is to love God, love my neighbor, and be a picture of  Jesus and lead others to Him (Mark 12:28-31). Emulating His character surely is a challenge, I am not doubting that. I get it wrong much more than I get it right. It is extremely hard to be perfectly loving and without sin as a human being- actually, we can't do it, and certainly not on our own. However, I do believe it is our responsibility to discern what it means to be loving and do our best to do so- luckily, we have God with us and His word to help us do that.

Lately, and especially over the past couple years when LGBT rights have been coming to a focus, I've unfortunately witnessed a lot of Christians choosing to ignore the command to "love their neighbor," and instead, choosing to publicly condemn and judge others in efforts to support their political agendas.

This may sound harsh, but I say it with love: If you are saying anything hurtful about this sensitive issue in a very public way (or in any way), you are NOT emulating Jesus, and you are NOT loving your neighbor. You may believe that somehow you are "offending people into the truth," but instead, you are pushing people far, far away from Jesus, the complete opposite of what he asks us.

Instead of posting your statuses behind your computer screens about how "America is going to hell because of this decision," or how, "God created marriage for a man and a woman, and everyone who doesn't think so is going to be burning in a lake of fire," why don't you instead get to know a struggling person and show them Jesus' true character through loving them just as they are. 

As I look at Jesus' character in the Bible, it seems like the only people he would "offend into the truth" were the Pharisees, the ones who thought they were all good because they followed the law so perfectly; they depended on their own goodness enough that they missed Jesus completely. I hate to say it, but when we post hateful things on social media focused on holding nonbelievers to our standards, we look and act like Pharisees.

So how would Jesus lead others to the truth if his way wasn't offending them into it or saying hateful things to them about how they are just getting it so wrong? A very specific example is in Luke 5: 27-32 (among many others), when Jesus calls Levi to himself. Levi was a tax collector, aka someone who would steal from others- break the law- a sinner.

27 After this, Jesus went out and saw a tax collector by the name of Levi sitting at his tax booth. “Follow me,” Jesus said to him, 28 and Levi got up, left everything and followed him.
29 Then Levi held a great banquet for Jesus at his house, and a large crowd of tax collectors and others were eating with them. 30 But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law who belonged to their sect complained to his disciples, “Why do you eat and drink with tax collectors and sinners?”
31 Jesus answered them, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick.32 I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners to repentance.”

Jesus saw this struggling person and showed him love completely- he asked him to be in on his team- to follow him. He took him as he was, asked him to leave his empty lifestyle behind, and come with him. Levi clearly knew by Jesus' character that he offered a better life than Levi knew. And Levi was so excited about this person, this wonderful love that he had found, this savior, that he wanted all of his friends to know. His friends were not believers- a lot of them were tax collectors, and Jesus ate with them at a banquet.

It's interesting to me that this story doesn't emphasize Jesus saying anything hurtful to the tax collectors- he doesn't seem to call them out on their lifestyle or tell them how wrong they are. He doesn't seem to criticize the nation that he is in because the tax collectors are doing awful, sinful things, and others around them are just allowing it.

Instead, he eats with them. He invites them into the truth in a kind and loving way. I imagine Him interacting with them as if they are human beings, not terrible, sinful outsiders- as if they were his neighbors, as if they deserved love just as everyone else did. I imagine him passing food around a table, enjoying wine, and laughing with them. I imagine him even hugging them goodbye after dinner.

And Jesus didn't just eat dinner with tax collectors- he also ate with drunks, prostitutes, you name it. He would show any one of them love, and show them a more fulfilling life. His way was not a way of condemnation.

The ones that did condemn- they weren't Jesus or any of His disciples- they were the pharisees. They were the ones who thought they were following God but ended up finding fulfillment in their own "goodness" and their own opinions- their own political agendas.

Now, I'm not calling any one of my friends pharisees, but what I am saying is that we need to be so careful. We need to remember that our purpose is to lead people to the truth. Looking at the Bible and looking at Jesus' character- the way to do this is through relationship. The way to do this is through loving people just as they are. The offer we have in Jesus is love and fulfillment in things that aren't of this world- the only way to show this exists is through being completely loving ourselves.

Let's think about how Jesus would react to the current political situations- I bet it wouldn't be by hiding behind a computer screen and posting hateful statuses on Facebook. Instead, he'd invite hurting people just as they are to eat with him, and he'd offer them relationship, salvation, and true love. He'd ask them to be on His team. 

Thinking about Goals | Be Intentional

For me, January usually comes unwelcome. I love the holidays, I'm basically a Christmas baby, and I even enjoy NYE. Nick and I have a fantastic tradition of spending it at this hometown bar with my family and a bunch of old people (we aren't the partying type). Just kidding any of those "old people" that might be reading this: You're not old...you are way more fun than most of the people I know! 

This year may have been my holiday season because I got to spend it married to my best friend, and I got to spend time with my family which takes on a whole new meaning now that I live far, far away.

But then January came without knocking, and Nick and I quickly rushed home to get back to "real life." I was sadder than usual to say hello to January...but with a new year always comes the hopes for new, good things as well! Being the completely unorganized person that I am, January usually comes with setting new goals to become a better me! I like to set a ton of goals, typically, and then fall through with most of them (I don't like the second part, it just happens). Each year feels like a brand new opportunity to become the absolute perfect version of myself...the very thing that I completely failed at the year before (and the year before that, and so on). At this point, I'm really sick of putting super high expectations on myself and then nearly always falling through. I want to be more organized, I want to be a better teacher, I want to write more, I want to find a way to be more involved in the world of health and fitness, one of my passions, and I want to, most of all, be a better wife, sister, daughter that seeks God first. And I want it to happen all at once. Honestly, though, sometimes I want these things selfishly. I want my life to be an interesting and adventure packed book that others couldn't help but read. But the message I want them to get by reading it, that's where I usually go wrong. Sometimes, I selfishly set goals and deep down I hope I will look better and impress others. My intentions go awry, really, when I set goals for myself.  So this year, instead, I decided I want to be intentional. As I wrote down my goals this year, I decided I wouldn't set goals at all, but rather intentions. And the biggest intention of all, is through following these goals, or intentions, and keeping myself accountable, I want to be what God made me to be. I want to write a book with my life, but I want the message to be all love.  It has been most important that the intentions I set for myself and the story I am writing has the direction that God is leading me in mind. And can I just tell you, these intentions have been so much easier to follow than any new years resolution or stringent SMART goal. These intentions have wiggle room. They don't put me down when I get them wrong. They include a little bit of grace within them. Because I am continually keeping in mind that I can't achieve them on my own. And if I don't prayerfully rely on God, I can expect to fail, but I can also expect a million second chances.  So here is my list of personal, full-of-heart intentions. I know we're about halfway through January, but just remember that the start of the year is honestly just another day. It feels symbolic for a clean slate, and I love symbolism, but you can start at any time. You can have a clean slate on any day, at any hour.  My 2015 Intentions: 1. Seek God. Listen. Read about Him. 2. Serve and love my husband better. 3. Move more and make healthier choices. 4. Be a better organized teacher- but do it because it means you are loving your students better, not because you feel like people around you are watching/ judging. 5. Enjoy and cherish time with family. 6. Make a new friend. Or two or three. 7. Enjoy my new (and most likely temporary) home while it lasts. And there you have it. I can pretty much say that I've been consciously taking steps toward each of these intentions from the beginning of the year. I have been slowly falling into them, though, because going full force ahead usually means falling full force off of a cliff. And really, I like where I am, I like the grace I'm giving myself, and falling off a cliff usually does some damage.  Just a little note: Of course there is a time for measurable goals. I make measurable goals basically every day. I just don't want to measure out a whole year in ceaseless striving. I want to measure it in love and grace.

A picture of some family cuddle time...definitely a great way to follow a few of my intentions!
How do you set your goals or resolutions or intentions for the year? What is most important to you in 2015? P.S Don't miss a post! Follow me on bloglovin or get my posts sent to your e-mail!

Morning Coffee vol. 1 | Present vs. Perfect

Morning coffee thoughts...because sometimes a hot cup of coffee (or two) in the morning can help awaken more than just our tired eyes. Grab a cup of coffee (or tea, if you prefer) and join with me as I document these moments of reflection and awakening. I hope you'll share your moments of awakening, too, because sharing stories is one of the best things we can do.

It's funny how it happens. How instead of reading my devotion first thing in the morning while I drink my coffee, I feel the need to read one of my favorite author's blogs, and her words drive themselves straight into my heart and help heal my hurt.
Her words, they just help me breathe better. And this morning, that is just what they did. Yesterday I had plans to post today on how hard this has been; being in a new place. And how much I miss my home. This morning, though I still feel those hard pangs of homesickness and loneliness, I have a new perspective.

Catching Up via Instagram

Currently, I have butternut squash and rosemary chicken cooking in the slow cooker. I am sitting, relaxing, with the windows open (thanks to cooler air) and I want to write about some things that have been going on in this mind of mine lately.These pictures will be my illustration, and although they are in the order of when they were taken, they are not in order of how I will be talking about them!

When I Grow Up...

What do I want to be when I grow up?  Who do I want to be when I grow up?
I believe that as we grow,  our passions grow, and sometimes they change. I can say that through the years mine have clearly changed. I went from hopeful future marine biologist (I was determined about that one) to hopeful future English teacher within about a year. Today…four years since that change happened, I'm still a future English Teacher…and sometimes I'm still hopeful about it. I talked about how hard it is for teachers to find a job before, and I can't stress enough how frustrating it has been. 

Some days, I don't think I will ever be a teacher. Partly because I can't find a job, and partly because I haven't actually taught in almost a year, and it is easy to forget that I love it. It is easy to think about how hard it is to find a job, and then how hard teaching is once you're in the job, and it's just too easy to think I don't even want to do it, anyways. Yesterday, though, I got to teach (almost), finally. I am going to be a teacher…for after school reading and writing classes. It's only part time, it isn't much, but it is something. And yesterday I trained, and I got to work with students, and it was right where I needed to be to remember that when I grow up, I want to teach English. But to me, it isn't about the teaching, but it is about being involved in growth and making students feel like they matter. It's about inspiring students to be all they can be. I hope that will be tomorrow, or next week, or soon at least. But if it isn't, there's a reason, there must be. There are other things I want to do, too. 

Counting Blessings | A Heart in Two Places

Moving to a new place, something I'm experiencing for the first time, can be hard, and even depressing.
But it can also be full of adventure, new starts, growth, and beauty.

Tomorrow will be a month since we made the move to Charlottesville from Pittsburgh.

Day 1: Love, Encouragement, and New Starts.

Every new month is exciting for me. I love new starts, and I know that every day can be a new start, but there is just something magical about the start of a month and all of the possibility that lies within the following 30 days!

The start of this month, in my opinion, is even more magical than usual because it is the start of Fall! Well, actually, the start of fall comes in 20 days, but September 1st is basically the representative start of the season (I'm not rushing summer away, I promise...I'm still going to soak in the last days of extreme heat). 

A letter to myself | Dear Freshman-Year Desirae

I mentioned this in my post on Sunday, but I've been thinking about college a lot.  There is lots of college talk right now with it being the beginning of the semester, and many of my friends and family are still in school (including my brother who just started!) I wasn't your typical college student during undergrad, and I didn't love college in the same way many students did- I wasn't a partying student in any way. However, I did love college because of the unique experience that it was, and more than anything I really loved the true friendships that I got out of it.

Some of my very favorite friends that I made.

I was class of 2013, just a semester before this, but this is way better than any graduation photo that I have!

I have a heart for those that are just beginning college. I know being a freshman isn't easy in a lot of ways. For many students, leaving home is the hard part. For others, it's staying true to who you are, or even learning who you actually want to be.  I have this belief that you go into your freshman year as one person, and hopefully, you come out of it changed for the better. Thats how it was for me- within the first year of college, I really grew stronger in my faith and found wonderful friends that helped me really become me. Throughout the rest of the years of college, I built on this as I made friends and met mentors that will be part of my life forever. I also met my husband, so that was the best.

Loves and Encouragement | The week in review and looking forward.

Sunday is technically the start of the week, but why? To me, it is the end. The day of rest, the soaking in quiet moments and God at the end of the week to prepare for the next. So I'm going to start posting weekly reviews on Sundays as a way to reflect and grow. In a new place, it seems like weeks are full of just so much new. I need a way to process it all and make it mean something. So I'll be posting the highlights of each week right here, and sometimes I'll include low lights, but I'm not trying to focus on negativity. I think my family will appreciate reading these things, too.


What I loved this week: 

1. Finding an affordable gym. I plan to post more on this later, but just when we thought we would go broke if we joined a gym around here, a wonderful friend filled us in on an affordable little fitness center. I started a 12 week training program and just feel so much better when I get myself active most days of the week.

2. Cooking and Baking. I really started planning meals this week and sticking with them, which is helping us spend less money so far (I think). Also, I've continued my unending journey of finding healthy ways to bake delicious treats. Somewhat successful so far. Recipes to come!

3. Breakfasts with Nick. Last week Nick had his breakfast provided most mornings, so I snoozed a bit longer. This week, I decided to get up and spend breakfasts and coffee with him before he went to work. Definitely worth the earlier wake up time!

Because it was life, and I decided to live it.

Today I had this moment that I thought would take a lot longer to happen.

I had a busy day. Typically, I have to think hard to figure out something to do with my day (currently unemployed until the school year starts with a husband that is currently working 10 hours a day). 

But today was different. Today I had to do laundry, go to the gym, go to an interview,and go grocery shopping all before 2pm. Let me explain why that would be hard for me- doing laundry actually means that I have to leave my house and go to a laundromat, my interview was at 11:30, and I wanted to grocery shop but knew I couldn't anytime after 1pm just in case I cut close to getting home past 2pm which is when my husband would need the car. I also really wanted to go to the gym. 

So while my laundry was doing its thing, I went to the gym which took longer than I thought. I then rushed back to the laundromat, folded clothes, hurried home, got ready for the interview in less than 20 minutes (seriously) and arrived at the interview place.

The actual interview was wonderful. It was with a teaching agency that just helps connect candidates with private schools, and the people were wonderful, helpful, and hopeful! After the interview, I promptly went to Whole Foods to get a few necessary things.

This is where the moment happens- I am on my way out and I see the coffee stand and I get myself some delicious blueberry iced tea. While walking to my car in the Virginia heat and iced tea in hand, I actually find myself excited that I am where I am. 

I was excited to move, sure. But since I've been here...let's just say it hasn't been easy. I think subconsciously I was trying not to love it so that I could save all my love for going back home eventually (and make that a fast "eventually," please).

To the amazing teachers who just can't seem to find a job.

(This post might apply to you most if you are a PA teacher, or if you're me, and you moved to hopefully find a job, but unknowingly moved to another area where it's hard to find a teaching job.)

I went to school to learn to teach because I am excited about the opportunity to make a difference. I want to teach because I have hope for the age group that not many see hope in. I believe in middle school and high school students, I believe that they can make a difference, they can be motivated, they can be great, and more importantly, they can do great things. 

And I'd imagine that your story is similar.You went to school to be a teacher because you love kids of whatever age you are certified to teach. You want to make a difference. You want them to feel loved and cared for, even if their home situation tells them differently. And you want them to know that they are great, they are amazing, and no matter what their circumstances, they absolutely can do great things.

Home.

It has been just over one week since we've moved, our apartment is (almost) set up completely, and most days I don't even know what I feel!

Moving is a strange thing- leaving everything you know for this brand new place- it's all exciting and at the same time it feels like your being ripped away from what you love, and put in this position where you really can't get back to it, at least not on a regular basis. At least that's what it feels like for me.

I miss a lot of things about home. I miss the convenience of walking down the street to get to my parents' house. I miss walking down the street to see any of my family that I'd want to see, in fact. I miss our church, I miss my parents' front porch. I miss my brother just stopping by at our little apartment. I miss the warmth of family, most of all- always having someone to hang out with because I'm lucky enough to have my family as my best friends. 

I miss friends too, the few I'd see often. I miss coffee at curbside with Natalie. And frozen yogurt with Katie. I even miss exploring Pittsburgh. Pittsburgh and my little home town- I don't love them that much until I leave them. I think that could be true for many people that I know. Pittsburgh is kind of a drab of a place- yet when you leave there's not really any other place you'd rather be.

And I don't think it's the place. I once heard it said that what makes a place is the people in them, and that's what it is for me. Home is the best place in the world to me- this small town that is so depressing sometimes- because of the people there, the people that raised me with so much love.

But the fact of the matter is I am not there, I am here. I am in this vibrant place called Charlottesville and I have to start calling this home, too, or it will never be. I don't want it to be home forever, but for a time, it is, and it has to be. So my decision is to call both places home, and love them both the best I can.

Welcome to Charlottesville!

Hello from Charlottesville, VA!

Nick and I are on day three in our transition from our forever home in Pittsburgh to our new home in Charlottesville, and in the little time that we've been here, so much has happened.

We are the luckiest because we have my wonderful family helping us transition. They've helped build new things, make a room full of boxes look like an actual living room, and just love us and be there for us when we need it the most. Sadly, they will be leaving tomorrow, and I think we will survive, though I will miss them terribly.