When I Grow Up...

What do I want to be when I grow up?  Who do I want to be when I grow up?
I believe that as we grow,  our passions grow, and sometimes they change. I can say that through the years mine have clearly changed. I went from hopeful future marine biologist (I was determined about that one) to hopeful future English teacher within about a year. Today…four years since that change happened, I'm still a future English Teacher…and sometimes I'm still hopeful about it. I talked about how hard it is for teachers to find a job before, and I can't stress enough how frustrating it has been. 

Some days, I don't think I will ever be a teacher. Partly because I can't find a job, and partly because I haven't actually taught in almost a year, and it is easy to forget that I love it. It is easy to think about how hard it is to find a job, and then how hard teaching is once you're in the job, and it's just too easy to think I don't even want to do it, anyways. Yesterday, though, I got to teach (almost), finally. I am going to be a teacher…for after school reading and writing classes. It's only part time, it isn't much, but it is something. And yesterday I trained, and I got to work with students, and it was right where I needed to be to remember that when I grow up, I want to teach English. But to me, it isn't about the teaching, but it is about being involved in growth and making students feel like they matter. It's about inspiring students to be all they can be. I hope that will be tomorrow, or next week, or soon at least. But if it isn't, there's a reason, there must be. There are other things I want to do, too.  I have this passion for writing, and sharing stories, and being transparent and honest. I think writing makes a difference. I think sharing my story is one of the most important things I will ever do. God works through us- and if we let Him write our story, our story can reach so many. I'm trying to do that. I'm trying to share my story as I let God write it. Sometimes, I want to write a book. When I grow up, I want to be a writer. I don't know if it will ever happen, but I'm trying, and I don't think I'll stop anytime soon.

When I grow up, I want to be the best wife. I want to build up my husband, always, and respect him. I do such a bad job at it, sometimes, but I try. And as I grow, I hope I learn to better love him and serve him. I'm a new wife, so I think my mistakes get a lot of grace, and I know they still will in the future. But that doesn't change the fact that when I grow up, I want to be a much better wife than I am now, and each year as I grow up, I want to be better than the year before. 

I don't say this too often, but when I grow up, I think I want to be a mom, too. I don't know how many kids I want to have, and I can't even think of being a mom right now. The thought of it scares me so much, because I know I'm not ready to raise a human. But luckily, I have such a great example in my parents, so when the day does come, and when I finally grow up enough, I want to be a mom, and I can't wait to work alongside my husband and our families to raise my future children. I also want to be the best daughter and sister, when I grow up, and the best friend. I want to love my family and love the people God puts in my life (and has put in my life) because I'm so very thankful for them every day. 

I'm sure as I grow up, my dreams will grow, my passions will change. Maybe someday, I'll take up art again, because I know I probably shouldn't let that talent go to waste. I love baking and cooking, and who knows where that will take me.  But more than anything, I hope I grow into a better version of me in every way. Most importantly, I hope that, when I grow up, I love well. I want to love God better, and I want to love the people He places in my path with everything I have. I hope that love will define me. I hope I'll start letting it define me today.  What do you want to be when you grow up?

Day 3, Wednesday's Words, Little Friday