Morning Coffee Thoughts | Becoming Fearless and chasing your Passions

It's been a while since we've had a cup of coffee together, and if we were having coffee right now, this is what I would tell you all about while trying to hold back some little tears of overwhelmed joy...

Sometimes, as I'm teaching, I have an out of body experience. I know that sounds weird, but you try standing in front of (and entertaining) nearly 30 9th graders at the same time for six hours of your day, and I promise you'll most likely understand. 
What I mean is, sometimes I feel like I am watching myself, or at least evaluating the situation, and thinking "how am I possibly doing this?" Me, this introverted, likes-to-stay-in-small-groups-of-people, crowds-overwhelm-me, doesn't-like-to-be-the-center-of-attention kind of person. How am I up here, teaching these kids, making them laugh, and begging them to take interest and buy into what I am trying to do? How am I doing that without my brain bursting- because that is so not a me thing to do.
And even more- how do they like me? How do they say I am their favorite teacher? How do my 11th graders from last semester, the ones I had so much trouble with, keep coming back and saying they miss me and wish they still had me? How does that even happen at all?
These are the questions that graced me yesterday, on a glorious Friday as I watched my fabulous students do some partner readings, avidly underlining and highlighting the most important parts of the Hero's Journey. How do I do this? How do I get to do this? And how do they make their way into my heart so fast?
My only answer, really, is that it is all about calling. It is a "soul thing" as Lysa Terkeurst calls it in The Best Yes. It is something that, although it is hard (and I mean HARD), my soul screams at me to do it, to spend time on it, to do it better. And because it is something completely outside of my comfort zone, but yet I feel a deep need to keep going, that is how I know it is my calling, it is my soul thing. And it is absolutely crazy how God just guides you through to fearlessness when you let him, and when you are following His lead.
So this year, this year that I have started teaching, that I have struggled so much, this is the year of becoming fearless. Because following this passion, and getting the God given opportunity to do it, has lead me to following other passions: like writing and becoming a fitness coach...things I've been thinking about doing for at least two years now but have never had the courage to start.
All of these things seem to be opposite of what I would believe that I can do if it was only my strength doing them. How could I stand in front of 30 9th graders and teach them something valuable day after day? How could I possibly write something worth reading and then allow others to read it without cringing? How could I help others along a fitness journey to reach goals to get healthy?  I can't, not on my own. But because I believe God has specifically called me to do these things, His help is with me. And the first step is to really jump in and just start. 
When you're passionate about something, you don't really succeed by getting to "try it out first" or just dipping your toes in the water. You have to go all in. You have to jump into the water, head first, no matter how dark and cloudy the water is. You might feel like you're drowning at first, but when you get those breaks in the surface, those glimpses of "this is exactly where I'm supposed to be," the scary is worth it. The almost-drowning is worth it. Because through being fearless, through following these soul things, I have found myself coming up to the surface with so much more confidence...so much assurance that this is exactly where I am supposed to be. Following my soul thing is turning this cautious girl into a fearless soul. And believe me, I would never, ever typically use that word to describe myself. This is all so new to me. 
Every day is a day to be fearless, every day is a day to start following your soul things, and every day it will be hard. If you feel like something is your "soul thing" but it looks hard and seems hard to start, I think that is an indication that it is right, and you should start it right now. It won't be easy, but if God is calling you to it, then it is the way to a fuller life. This is what we are here to do. We are here to listen, to be fearlessly following after God and reaching others through the work he is calling us to; and through it all, glorifying Him. 
"Whether you turn to the right or to the left, your ears will hear a voice behind you, saying, 'This is the way; walk in it.'" Isaiah 30:21
What is your soul screaming at you to do? What is keeping you from starting today?

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