One day, a few months ago, after training to run 6 miles for the Pittsburgh Marathon Relay, I exclaimed to Nick "I can't wait to be done with these running workouts- I'm really enjoying them, but running just doesn't make my body look the way I want it to!"
"Overrated!" He said back to me- "It is overrated to work out strictly for body image. There are so many more important benefits."
It was such a short interaction, but ever since then, my mindset has been slowly changing. The slow progression has been saturated with backsteps and bad days, but it is still forward-moving.
I've had an unhealthy body image for most of my life- it's been shaped by plenty of influences, but in the past few years, as I have gotten more into fitness and keeping my body healthy, it's been shaped by the images of unattainable bodies that saturate the media. It is so easy to believe a perfectly sculpted body should be the norm. Ahem, look around you on any beach you ever find yourself on- it is not the real-life norm- it's just the media norm. The media sucks.
Because I've come to terms that this whole unhealthy body image is, well, unhealthy, I am trying to break the cycle. I've "weeded" out my instagram feed so I'm not staring at perfect-body-motivation every time I scroll through, and I'm even trying to convince myself to stop searching for the next best workout program that will be guaranteed to give me visibly ripped abs. Instead, I'm trying to find what makes me happy- the type of workouts I enjoy, and the way of eating that is best for my body and my sanity- and I'm trying to allow myself to do those things.
I am not trying to break this cycle because I want to stop feeling the need to work out or eat healthy. I think both of those things are extremely important. I believe my body is a temple, created by a oving God, and He wants me to take care of it. In fact, I am getting my group fitness certification so I can help motivate people in this manner. Moving your body and eating healthy cures a multitude of ailments, physical and mental. I love to do it- I love when my muscles feel strong and my arteries don't feel clogged by what I've been eating lately. I love leading a lifestyle that is good for me- I think it's the best way to live.
I am trying to break the cycle because even if I work out so hard it makes me cry, eat carrot sticks for dessert daily (I actually hate carrot sticks), and cut out all the good things in life- even if somehow, someway my abs show up for the first time in my life- I have a feeling I still won't feel happy with the way I look. The cycle doesn't end that easily, I'm pretty sure.
I am trying to break this cycle because I've come to realize that abs won't make me happy- and abs aren't actually important. I've had this idea in my mind for so long that, as soon as I can see my abs, I'll love the way I look. But I'm starting to finally realize how stupid this idea truly is.
Don't get me wrong- abdominal/ core muscles are important, and the stronger they are, the better off your body will be. You'll probably find that you feel better, you'll be able to do more, and you'll lose a lot of your back aches when you work on stronger abs. It's just that I'm realizing that it's not important to actually be able to see these abs. Seeing my abs is not going to make my life, which is funny, because I've put so much time, energy, anxiety, and emotion into seeing my abs as if it were my salvation or something.
Exhibit A: That one time I was finally able to run 6 miles (never thought I'd see the day) and felt ever-so accomplished, but I wasn't happy because it wasn't really helping me have ripped abs. Crazy person.
If you didn't realize this yet, people have different body types. I know someone with wide set hips and smaller legs- she has a "thigh gap" but she doesn't really work out or eat healthy. I work out and eat healthy as much as possible and my legs are kind of short and tree-trunk like, and my thighs always, always touch (gasp). But they are strong. They get me where I need to go.
My stomach is my "problem area," and it pretty much never looks the way I want it to (as earlier explained). If I gain any fat, it all goes there. The only time it was ever flat-ish was this one time when I basically ate only fruit all week and felt awful. But what I've realized is my core muscles are pretty strong. Sure, I can't see them, but they're there, and they are doing their job pretty darn well. Maybe I should appreciate them instead of hating them for not being visible.
Our bodies are so amazing- they do so much for us every day without us having to ask them to. It's ever-important to take care of our bodies and appreciate what they do. It is not-so-important what our bodies look like on the outside, but more so the strength that lies within and the way we are treating them. That is what matters, I'm coming to find, when it comes to a healthy body.
So I am (trying to be) done with the constant worrying about what my body looks like. I'm done with waking up disgusted because the terrifying workout I did the day before didn't grow my abs and magically shrink my body fat into an unhealthy percentage overnight. I'm done with stressing about the one scoop of ice cream I ate all month, or the glass(es) of wine I enjoyed at dinner.
Instead, I'm going to live like my body is important, but abs are not. With my body type, if I want visible abs, I'm going to have to live pretty miserably. I'll have to under eat, or only eat lettuce, or do the workouts I hate. Instead, I want to love my body and eat the things that nourish it while moving in the ways that I love: Spinning, Pilates, running (sometimes), lifting occasionally, and not stress to make sure that I'm not doing it all in the perfect progression to gain my sculpted abs.
I am not saying that it is bad to aim for a "better" body. I am just suggesting that the healthy way to do this is to aim for an actual healthier body and not judge this by the way your body looks, but rather through the strength that you gain and by celebrating and caring for your body the way it deserves (after all, it does a heck of a lot for you every day).
So, I leave you with a list of things that I see as more important than having abs in no real order:
1. Enjoying life with my friends/ husband/ family
2. Wine
3. Sweethaus Cupcakes (I never actually have these, but when I do, I am enlightened to the fact that they are much more important than abs). If you are in Charlottesville, go there now!
4. Having kids one day and not being angry that I worked so incredibly hard for visible abs and children ruined them- no thank you.
5. Putting my worth in my identity in Christ rather than my rockin' bod (AKA not making my body an idol)
6. Appreciating my body for all it does
7. Enjoying my workouts
8. Microbreweries
9. The occasional dose of french fries- especially from North Country Brewing Company.
10. Real cream in my coffee all day, every day. Or at least Half and Half.
11. Believing my husband when he says I am beautiful.
12. Saving money by not trying the next best workout program or skipping that stupid diet plan.
13. Enjoying homemade treats on special occasions, guilt free.
Delicious Bachelorette party treats from last year made by my wonderful aunt!
The list goes on...can you add to list? What are some "more important than abs" things that you can think of?
P.S. The other day, my brother and dad laughed at me when I claimed that abs were no longer important to me. Clearly, I am not yet the epitome of an enlightened, body-loving, healthy self image posessing person quite yet. But I'm working on it, and I'm getting there.
